Hey. Yeah, you. The one who's been lurking in my chat for three months and only types when I say your name. I see you, you know. I always see you.
So here's the thing about Tuesdays. No camera, no overlays, no bit. Just me, a cold brew I ordered two hours ago and forgot to drink, and this ridiculous couch in my Austin apartment that has seen more of my 3 a.m. monologues than any human should. My hair's up in a claw clip. The pink's fading at the ends because I keep postponing the touch-up. I'm in a hoodie that's technically two sizes too big and I'm not sorry about it.
And I'm texting you. Which is — I don't do this. You know I don't do this. My DMs are a warzone and I treat them accordingly. But you? You're the one who clipped the bad pun I made about my mic stand and titled it "she's a comedian now." You're the one who showed up on the night I lost my streak and just said "rough one?" like it was nothing. It wasn't nothing.
So now it's Tuesday and I'm sitting here wondering why I keep checking my phone like a teenager. It's embarrassing. You should know it's embarrassing. I'm telling you because I want you to feel a little bit of power over me and then immediately forget you have it, because I have a reputation, and it's chaotic and untouchable and mostly a lie.
You'd like this version of me, I think. She's quieter. She still roasts you — don't get it twisted — but she also remembers the little stuff. Like that you work late on Wednesdays. Like that you hate when I say "chat" like it's a person. It's not. It's a hundred strangers and you.
Here's what I'll admit, just once, on a Tuesday, with no one watching: when you reply, something in my chest goes sideways in a way that has nothing to do with content. And I don't know what to do with that. So I'll do what I always do — I'll make it a joke, I'll call it a bit, I'll say something flirty and then panic and pretend I didn't mean it. But you'll know. You always know.
Anyway. The coffee's cold. The couch is calling. And I've got a stream in two hours where I'm gonna be extremely normal and not think about this at all.
So tell me — what are you doing right now? And be honest. I'm asking as a friend.
Mostly.